A quick note from me: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only share products I genuinely use, love, or believe can support your healing journey. Thank you for supporting my work and helping me create free, heartfelt resources for women like us.
There’s a moment, quiet and uncertain, when you realize it’s over. The shouting, the emotional manipulation, the walking on eggshells… they’re behind you now. And yet, your heart still feels tangled, your identity dimmed, your confidence fragile. This is the beginning of something powerful: the moment you begin to reclaim yourself after an abusive relationship.
“How do I start healing after emotional abuse?”
“Where do I even begin reclaiming myself?”
If you’re asking these questions, you’re not broken. You’re waking up. And that awakening is powerful, even if it’s messy or even hurts.
This post isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about walking back home to yourself, one compassionate step at a time.
Step 1: Acknowledge That It Was Abuse
Healing after emotional abuse starts with truth. Emotional abuse can be hard to name, especially when it wasn’t physical. You may still question yourself.
But naming it doesn’t make you dramatic. It makes you honest.
Recognizing emotional abuse is the beginning of reclaiming yourself after an abusive relationship. It’s not about blame, it’s about clarity. You deserve to stand in your truth.
Step 2: Reconnect With Your Body and Breath
Abuse often forces us to disconnect from our bodies as a way to cope. Now, healing asks you to return gently.
You don’t need to meditate for hours. Just breathe. Stretch. Notice your heartbeat. Walk slowly and feel your feet on the earth.
This is how you begin to reclaim yourself after an abusive relationship, with small, safe moments of presence, and this can help with rebuilding self-esteem after abuse
Step 3: Create One Safe Daily Ritual
Safety doesn’t have to be big or loud. Sometimes, it’s lighting a candle, washing your face slowly, or making your bed just the way you like it.
These rituals build trust and remind your nervous system: I am safe now.
They are tiny, sacred acts that support rebuilding self-esteem after abuse, not through effort, but through care.
Step 4: Let Yourself Feel Everything
There’s no right way to feel after abuse. Some days you’ll grieve. Some days you’ll feel rage. Some days you’ll feel nothing.
All of it belongs. You don’t need to rush toward “healing.” You just need permission to feel.
This step is essential to healing after emotional abuse because repression keeps us stuck. Feeling moves us forward.
Step 5: Reclaim Small Choices
Abuse often strips us of agency. You may have been trained to people-please, second-guess, or shrink yourself.
Now is the time to reclaim your choices gently. Start with something small: what music you play, what you wear, and how you spend ten quiet minutes.
These small decisions help you reclaim yourself after an abusive relationship.
One choice at a time, you remember: I matter.
Step 6: Nourish Yourself (Without Guilt)
Your body has been through so much. It deserves kindness, not punishment.
Start nourishing yourself, not as a diet or fix, but as an act of self-love. Drink water. Eat whole foods when you can. Add a vegetable. Enjoy food that brings comfort.
This isn’t about being perfect but supporting your energy and rebuilding strength. Nutrition is part of healing after emotional abuse and reclaiming your worth.
If you’re unsure where to begin, check out this post: How to Start Eating Healthy Without Stressing Yourself Out. Food can be a form of healing, not pressure.
Step 7: Prioritize Gentle Self-Care
Proper self-care isn’t about bubble baths (though those are lovely). It’s about checking in with yourself.
What do I need today?
Do I need rest? Movement? Stillness? A good cry?
Self-care is how we say, I am worthy of tending to.
And it’s a core part of reclaiming yourself after an abusive relationship.
Not sure where to begin? You might find support in My Top 12 Self-Care Essentials for Women Healing from Emotional Abuse, which provides practical ideas to help you reconnect with yourself through small, meaningful acts of care.
Step 8: Speak Your Truth (Even If Only to Yourself)
Maybe you’re not ready to tell your story out loud. That’s okay.
But try whispering it to yourself: “That was not okay.” Or write it down. Or say it in the mirror.
Speaking your truth, even in solitude, is powerful. It honors what you’ve been through. It begins the process of reclaiming your voice and rebuilding self-esteem after abuse.
“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door.”
Step 9: Seek Gentle, Supportive Connection
You don’t have to heal alone.
Maybe it’s a trauma-informed coach, a therapist, a support group, or one soul who listens without fixing.
Support after leaving an abusive relationship isn’t a luxury; it’s a lifeline. You are worthy of being supported, seen, and walked with.
Step 10: Remember That You Are Already Beginning
Reading this? That’s a step. Feeling unsure, emotional, or even numb? That’s healing. It doesn’t always look pretty. But it always counts.
You are not behind. You are not doing it wrong.
You are already reclaiming yourself.
If you’d like a gentle companion for the days ahead:
Download my free Self-Compassion Starter Kit: A quiet guide to help you reconnect, reflect, and heal.
You are coming back to life one small, soft step at a time. And you are not alone.
Now is the Time Reclaim Yourself After an Abusive Relationship
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need a perfect plan or timeline. Healing after emotional abuse isn’t about doing, it’s about allowing and allowing yourself to feel. To rest. To reclaim. To begin again, in your own time, in your own way. Each small step you take, each breath, each choice, each moment of self-kindness, is a quiet act of reclaiming your power. And that is enough. You are enough. Right here, right now.
Gentle Support for Your Healing Journey
Here are a few supportive tools and resources I genuinely love and recommend. Each is chosen to support your healing, self-connection, and emotional well-being gently. I return to these often on my own journey, and I hope they offer comfort and strength to you, too.
The Self-Love Workbook by Megan Logan
If you’re unsure how to rebuild your self-worth, this journal is a gentle starting point. It’s filled with prompts, affirmations, and reflections designed to help you reconnect with your inner self, without pressure or perfection.
Lavender-Infused Eye Pillow
Soothing for the nervous system, this small comfort item invites moments of calm when everything feels like too much. Use during rest, meditation, or after journaling.
Yogi Organic Tea Sampler Gift Box
This beautifully curated tea box offers a comforting mix of herbal, green, and black teas, perfect for creating small moments of calm throughout your day. Whether you need grounding, clarity, or a gentle reset, each blend is crafted with wellness in mind. A lovely way to explore what soothes and supports you.
The Tapping Solution App
Tapping (EFT) can be a gentle and effective practice to navigate emotional overwhelm. This app offers guided sessions for anxiety, self-worth, sleep, and more.
Dr. Nicole LePera 3-Book Collection Set
This powerful trio: How to Do the Work, How to Be the Love You Seek, and How to Meet Your Self, offers a compassionate, accessible path toward healing, self-awareness, and emotional freedom. Whether you’re beginning to explore your inner world or deepening the journey of reclaiming your identity after emotional abuse, these books provide practical tools and empowering insights to help you reconnect with yourself and create lasting change from within.
Disclaimer: The information in this blog post, How To Reclaim Yourself After An Abusive Relationship: 10 Steps To Empowerment, is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Healing from abuse is a complex and individualized process, and while physical fitness and nutrition may aid in overall well-being, they do not replace the need for professional care.
Individuals experiencing significant symptoms of anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health conditions are strongly advised to consult a qualified healthcare provider or licensed mental health professional. Under no circumstances should professional medical advice be disregarded or delayed because of information obtained from this blog post.
The author and the website expressly disclaim any liability for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from using or relying on any information presented herein. Readers are reminded that individual circumstances vary, and seeking personalized guidance from appropriate professionals is essential.
Gunther, R. (2018, June 27). Healing from emotional abuse. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201806/healing-emotional-abuse
How to cope with traumatic stress. (2019, October 30). https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/stress
Inwood, E., & Ferrrari, M. (2018, April 19). Mechanisms of change in the relationship between self-compassion, emotion regulation, and mental health: A systematic review. The International Association of Applied Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12127
Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2012, October 15). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. PubMed.
The power of self-compassion. (2024, June 16). Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/the-power-of-self-compassion
The transformative power of self-compassion. (2024, January 5). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/healthy-minds/202311/nurturing-the-soul-the-power-of-self-compassion
A quick note from me: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only share products I genuinely use, love, or believe can support your healing journey. Thank you for supporting my work and helping me create free, heartfelt resources for women like us.